Drop the Hammer: Tom DeLay's Farewell Address

Ah, the joy of watching this jackass crash and burn. Among other political atrocities, DeLay is responsible for the partisan gerrymandering of Texas electoral districts back in 2003, a challenge to which is slowly working its way up to the supreme court, and the unprecedented procedural irregularity of holding a vote open in the House of Representatives for over three hours to ram through the Medicare bill that cost over $100 billion more than we were told it would. He is a partisan hack who would rape and burn his own mother if he thought it would help another Republican. To watch this jackass finally be caught by his nasty tricks and forced into retirement pleases me immensely.

In the speech, DeLay attacks bipartisanship and those who lack the spine to declare all-out war on their political opponents. After denouncing those who use their retirement speeches to reminisce about the "good old days" of cordial discourse and cooperative legislating, DeLay asserts, "Partisanship, Mr. Speaker, properly understood, is not a symptom of democracy's weakness but of its health and its strength."

He wraps himself in the mantles of smaller government and tax cuts, values that have gone the way of the coelacanth in the Republican party: they're still out there, but not many of 'em, and for a long time it looked like they were completely gone. DeLay and the other Theo-Conservatives don't want smaller government, they want bigger government that will stop people from doing what they want with their own bodies, fine into bankruptcy any company that broadcasts material they find objectionable, and pound Christian propaganda into the heads of schoolchildren. His party has presided over the largest single increase in government in American history, inflated the deficit to nearly $10 trillion, and he self-righteously attacks Democrats for wanting more government.

He sets up two principles that must never be compromised to defend his actions: human freedom and human dignity. Of course, when he talks about fighting euthanasia, he relies on dignity; when he talks about getting rid of welfare, he relies on freedom. When he talks about banning abortion, he relies on dignity, and when he talks about occupying a foreign nation, he relies on freedom.

What kind of doublethink is this sack of shit peddling? Fuck you, Tommy.